


we were once kids

by ifthebookdoesntsell



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Halloween, Pre-Relationship, Reconciliation, Rejanis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27321253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifthebookdoesntsell/pseuds/ifthebookdoesntsell
Summary: She should just watch her movie and head to bed early, try to catch up on the sleep she complains about never getting enough of.That’s what she should do.But it’s a Saturday night.And it’s Halloween.And if she’s honest, Janis is really fucking lonely.Which is how she ends up searching Regina’s name on Instagram.It’s a real moment of weakness, and Janis knows that if Damian were here, he would have snatched the phone from her long ago. Except he’s not.He's out with some boy. And she wants him to be happy. She does. She loves him. But still, he's not here.She can hear his voice in her head so clearly telling her that it’s a bad idea, that she’s finally gotten over the pain of what happened between them, finally gotten over the crush she’d admitted to having in the middle of the night sophomore year. She doesn't care.Her thumb hovers over the girl’s name.(Or, the one where Janis is lonely on Halloween and decides-- perhaps against her better judgement-- to try and spend it with her ex-best friend)
Relationships: Regina George/Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 14
Kudos: 76





	we were once kids

**Author's Note:**

> first off, i wanna say that i wrote this in literally an hour so forgive me if it isn't as polished as some of my other stuff. the idea for this comes from the fact that i'm sitting in my bedroom alone this halloween and i wish i had somebody to spend it with or at the very least somebody to talk on the phone with. in all honesty, my friends are out hanging, and i'm not. 
> 
> soo maybe i projected a little on janis. just a smidgeon lmao. 
> 
> nevermind all of that though! no more about me. loneliness can be good for the soul. however, if you are out, or are planning to be, please follow pandemic restrictions and be safe. 
> 
> thanks for giving this a read. 
> 
> (title from kevin mchale's "younger")

Ever since high school began, Halloween has been Janis’ least favorite day of the year, and it’s not because of the scary costumes, or the candy, or haunted houses. She loves those things. 

Halloween should be her jam. It should be. 

The problem is that ever since the eighth grade, she’s had nobody to spend it with. There’s Damian, of course, but he’s out this year with some boy, and while she has a few movies and a bowl of popcorn, it doesn’t feel like enough on the day she used to spend with Regina George. 

She has too much time to think without her best friend screeching every time there’s a jump scare, especially now that she’s watching something that isn't particularly scary and more of a comfort film. 

It used to be an ordeal to get themselves dressed; there used to be a joy in dressing up, in making their own costumes, in collecting candy and trading. Regina used to take the candy Janis didn’t like, and in return, the blonde would hand over some of her Sour Patch Kids. 

(Janis hates Almond Joys to this day, and now, she has nobody to give them away to.) 

And honestly, she should be over it. It’s been four years, and Regina got hit by a _bus_. The fact that Janis has nobody to spend Halloween is inconsequential in comparison. 

Still, even her parents are out, and as the time ticks by, she finds herself starting to wallow. Her throat is a little tight, and her stomach feels funny, and her heart is beating a little too irregularly. 

It’s stupid. She shouldn’t be jealous scrolling through Snapchat stories of her friends; they’re having fun. She’s happy for them. 

She is. 

Even so, there’s a tiny thought nagging at her, one that she should not be having. She should just watch her movie and head to bed early, try to catch up on the sleep she complains about never getting enough of. 

That’s what she should do. 

But it’s a Saturday night. 

And it’s Halloween. 

And if she’s honest, Janis is really fucking lonely. 

Which is how she ends up searching Regina’s name on Instagram. 

It’s a real moment of weakness, and Janis knows that if Damian were here, he would have snatched the phone from her long ago. Except he’s not. 

He's out with some boy. And she wants him to be happy. She does. She loves him. But still, he's not here. 

She can hear his voice in her head so clearly telling her that it’s a bad idea, that she’s finally gotten over the pain of what happened between them, finally gotten over the crush she’d admitted to having in the middle of the night sophomore year. She doesn't care. 

Her thumb hovers over the girl’s name. 

And then she hears a different voice. One from middle school. 

Regina’s voice. 

_Scared, Jay?_

No. She’s not afraid. She’s learned how to shove the fear down, learned how to eat it for every meal, to spit it back out. 

As if egged on, Janis clicks without any more preamble. 

Quickly, she scrolls through her feed, trying not to stare too long at the pictures Regina posted of herself in the hospital post-op, and especially forcing herself not to look at the photos that show off a little more of Regina’s assets than Janis should be seeing. 

She clicks into a few photos, reading a few of the lewd comments left and reporting them without a second thought. Damian has called her silly for doing so, especially considering how Regina treated her for much of high school, but now, there’s a tentative peace between them, though they haven’t talked much. 

The bullying has stopped. She’s even gotten a few smiles from the girl, and on the day her card declined in the lunch line, Regina had brushed her fingers over the small of Janis’ back discreetly and handed hers over to pay for it. 

It was an offering, and Janis had accepted by whispering a quiet _thank you_ and touching Regina’s arm briefly. 

They haven’t talked about it. Sometimes Janis wonders if she dreamt it. 

She dives a little deeper in the feed, looks at a picture of Regina and Aaron from two Halloweens ago before she swipes out of it in anger. She’s about to close the app when she sees something that makes her do a double take. 

There’s a new post on Regina’s story. 

She rubs her eyes to be sure, refreshing the page, and sure enough, there’s a gradient circle around the blonde’s profile picture. 

For a moment, she hesitates. Regina would see that she watched it. The last thing Janis wants to do is seem weird. 

Still, she’s curious, and the longer she stares at it, the more she wants to see what it says. 

Maybe Regina is at a party. Maybe it’s the open kind that Janis could go to and get shitfaced enough that she won’t feel so lonely anymore. Maybe Regina is with some boy, and Janis can find satisfaction in the fact that she knows that however much he looks at the blonde like she hung the moon and the stars, Regina will never love him back. 

At the very least, maybe Regina posted a picture of herself in her costume. Janis hopes it’s a shitty one, one that she can make fun of for the lack of effort, one that she can decidedly hate on. 

She clicks. 

It’s not at all what she expected. 

Regina’s face isn’t even in it. It’s just a photo of the TV and the smallest bit of pink pajama pants cut off at the bottom of the frame. There’s a caption. 

_Best Halloween yet._

Janis snorts. Of course somebody who’s always been invited to _something_ on this day would think that. 

Only the most popular think that loneliness is to be adored. 

Still, she stares at the picture for a bit too long, squinting to see what movie the other girl is watching. 

_Oh._

Regina is watching the same thing as her. It makes sense.

They used to always watch Nightmare Before Christmas together, Janis complaining that it’s really a movie for the winter holidays, and the blonde insisting that there’s no harm in watching it twice a year. 

Her screen dims a bit since there’s been no activity, and Janis clicks to keep it alight. The motion closes her out of the story. She’s grateful. 

God knows how long she would have stared at it. 

She tosses her phone aside, hitting play on the remote to resume watching, but as the plot continues, all Janis can think of is Regina. She’d long forced herself to forget about their memories together, but tonight, everything feels raw all over again. 

Maybe it’s because they’re both alone, or maybe it’s just because of the accident. Maybe it’s because this is the final year of high school before they may never see each other again, or maybe it’s simply because Janis misses Regina like she’s never missed anything or anyone. 

Without Damian to fill the void tonight, the chasm between her ribs is too apparent to ignore. 

She sits through another twenty minutes of Nightmare, barely taking in the story since she knows it so well, can practically hear Regina’s voice from when they were young yelling about her favorite part as if she hasn’t told Janis to be quiet at exactly this minute every year since they were capable of having memories. 

Suddenly, the popcorn next to her is extremely unappetizing. It only makes her think of the homemade kettle corn Mrs. George used to make. 

Janis’ insides feel oddly cold; her throat is dry. And before she can stop herself she’s shutting off the television and heading upstairs to change. 

She doesn’t know exactly what possesses her-- though it would make sense that Halloween of all days is when it happens-- but soon, she’s dressed in her nicest pair of jeans and a soft flannel, her favorite black beanie tugged down almost to her ears to hide messy brown hair. 

Grabbing her keys and phone, she tugs open the door, shivering a little at the cold, autumn air. Janis isn’t even sure where she’s going, and she wanders aimlessly for a few moments before making a left and deciding that it’s today or never. 

Her hands find home in her pockets as she walks, and she catches a glimpse of a little blonde girl dressed up as a princess. Janis’ heart clenches a bit too hard, and a specific memory comes to the surface. 

_They’re twelve. Somehow, Regina had convinced Janis to dress up as the prince to accompany her costume._

_It’s innocent enough. Neither of them are aware of their separate futures. Janis loves the fake sword that’s on her hip, loves the vest her mom sewed for her. Regina plants a kiss on her cheek._

_Everything is perfect._

Janis stumbles a little as she crosses the street. It hits her too hard that perhaps she should have figured things out back then, should have been ahead of things, should have told Regina. 

Maybe things would have been different. Maybe they could have stayed friends. Maybe-- 

She shakes herself out of it. 

Janis likes who she is now. Even if it hurts sometimes. 

Her scars have names, have stories, and she wouldn’t trade them. They’re part of her now. She’s not thankful for them, but she’s not resentful either. 

Not anymore. 

A freezing burst of wind hits her, and Janis shoves her hands deeper into her pockets as the George house finally comes into view. 

For a second, she pauses, unsure if this is the best idea. There’s a reason they haven’t talked. And Regina very much did not invite her. 

Still, she can see a light on in the front living room where she knows the TV is, can see that everything else is off upstairs. 

Regina is by herself too. 

And as much as Janis hates to think it, she doesn’t believe that Regina should ever have to spend a day alone. Nobody really should. 

So though Janis has had her fair share of solitude because of the very person she’s trying to save from the same fate, she can’t find herself to turn around even if the cruelest parts of her are telling her to do so. 

Swallowing hard, Janis takes one last deep breath before she crunches her way up towards the front door. Her boots slip a little on the gravel, but she refuses to take it as a sign, breathing in deep when she reaches the front porch. 

She stares at the doorbell. It seems infinitely far as she tries to bring her hand up to press it. 

She hears that little voice again:

_Scared, Jay?_

Janis nods to nobody in particular. Her chest feels tight and somehow looser than it ever has. 

It’s liberating to admit that she’s fucking terrified, that ringing the bell and seeing Regina’s face could undo her all over again if the blonde isn’t wearing the expression she wants to-- _needs to_ \-- see. 

Because as she paces back and forth, trying to make a decision about whether she should stay or go, she realizes how monumental this moment is. It’s one she’s been sitting on for too long, one she’s been yearning for since the moment her locker was keyed. 

She’s been waiting to do this, to confront her demons, even if that demon is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. They tend to be that way, she finds. 

Janis also knows that if she digs a little deeper, it may turn out that the thing she was so afraid of may be something-- someone-- she could love again. 

She shakes her hands out, pulling her beanie down a little farther on her head as she finally takes a step closer to the door. 

Her finger quivers as it comes in contact with the button. All she has to do is press once. 

Nodding again to nobody, Janis steels herself, takes a deep breath. 

She hears the telltale ring, hears footsteps. 

There’s still time to run. 

Her legs won’t move. 

Before she can try to unstick them, the door opens. 

She swallows hard. 

Regina doesn’t seem shocked to see her at all. And she looks adorable. 

Her sleeves of her jacket are pulled down over her palms, and her checkered black and pink pajama pants are a little too long. She looks nervous, too. 

Suddenly, Janis doesn’t regret leaving the house. But she is shocked at the words that leave the blonde’s mouth next. 

“Took you long enough.”

“Excuse me?” 

“I saw that you watched my story,” Regina says, voice more gentle. “I knew you would. I was lonely. I hoped you were too.” 

Janis looks at her skeptically. 

“You hoped I was lonely?” 

Regina hides her face in her hands.

“No! I just meant--” she reddens. “I just meant I wanted you to come over, okay?” 

Janis’ breath stutters. 

“Oh.” 

Regina nods, clearly trying to decide if the words on the tip of her tongue are appropriate.

“What?” Janis asks. 

Regina tugs the sleeves further down until she has sweater paws. 

“I know I have no right, but I’ve missed you.” She looks over Janis’ shoulder at nothing in particular. 

“Oh.” The brunette’s heart is beating a mile a minute, the admission enough to throw her for a loop. 

This is more than she ever could have hoped for. 

“Are you going to say anything besides one word answers?” Regina snaps. 

“Sorry.” 

Regina snorts. 

“You just did it again.” 

Janis grins at her, clearly hellbent on being annoying, now. 

“Sorry.” 

Regina rolls her eyes, fighting a smile of her own. 

“Whatever, loser. Just come in, okay?” 

Janis nods, taking a tentative step forward. 

The blonde looks at her in exasperation, grabbing her hand and pulling her along. 

“I said come in,” she groans. “Otherwise I’ll make you eat the Almond Joys.” 

Janis gasps in a flash of spark, part of her returning from the initial shock of what’s just happened. 

“You wouldn’t.” 

Regina laughs. A real laugh. One that Janis hasn’t heard in years. 

“Try me.”

**Author's Note:**

> so. what did we think? remember i tagged it pre-relationships lmao. i hope that you enjoyed, and if you did, consider dropping me a comment and/or a kudo. it would make me smile. 
> 
> shoutout to all the people who stay in. i see you and i love you. shoutout to the people who got to spend today with their friends, too. i love you as well. just remember to be safe. 
> 
> as always, i'm @ifthebookdoesntsell on tumblr. if you ever have anything on your mind, my askbox is open. i've been told i'm a good listener. 
> 
> happy halloween xx
> 
> -ellis


End file.
